I went to Hallmark today. I always put it off because I feel like an idiot trying to pick out which card is least offensive to me (and I hope its destined recipient). This usually narrows down my focus to the "Belated" section, and then I usually just get the one with the cute dog on it. ("Why is a wiener dog threatening to pee behind my couch if I don't have a happy birthday? Is this what happens when you graduate from college?") At least there's a rhyme or reason to my selections (When Is a
Dachshund Not Appropriate? *Rhetorical Question*), unlike my
little brother who went through a phase of giving everyone Congrats-Girlfriend pregnancy cards, regardless of age or sex.
I also needed another box of Thank You cards, which is difficult because they can't say "Thank You" on them. (I read Miss Manners at an impressionable age.) But I want authentic Thank You cards because they're small and don't require me to think of much to say.* I had one contender in my hand when a woven pattern in pearlized off-whites caught my eye: "Ostentatiously unobtrusive—perfect!"
I just realized that it was probably intended for weddings, which will just enrich the sub-text for the recipients.
*People usually guess what's happening if you write in letters two inches tall.
