The patents for all document shredders are also owned by the publishers of all junk mail.
Also possible but somewhat more difficult to prove: the publishers of junk mail are owned by ITI (Identity Thieves, Inc.)
But shredders are necessary because of identity thieves, so we're back where we began, which means we have the hooped-snake, which is a symbol of eternity. But the only eternal being is God, and God is truth, therefore this connection can be taken as infallibly proven through first principles, which are more certain than mere experiential proofs.
Q.E.D.
