There is a foolproof sign of when exhaustion has become equivalent to intoxication. It happens to me while watching the commercials on HGTV. Although the images and text of the commercials cover different subject matter, they all break down to the same basic three stages, and almost certainly employ the following quotes subliminally. Why else would anyone hire a tubby, bearded fellow who shouts and has no credentials other than that he is the perfect cover for the whispered insinuations?
Stage 1: Uncertain cynicism:
"Oh that's just ridiculous."
"But they wouldn't sell it if it weren't worthwhile."
"Well, I suppose it does have real-life applicability and it's not TOO expensive."
Stage 2: Cautious enthusiasm
"They just doubled the offer!"
"How can they afford to do that?"
"Can I afford not to buy?"
Stage 3: Let me at the phone
"They just added a free gift/tripled the offer!!!"
"Act now, think another time!"
I knew someone who shopped non-stop on QVC. She really believed that QVC offered the highest value and quality, and she appreciated the "easy-pay" system which just took a small amount of money out of her bank account each month for three months without bothering her at all. In general, her possessions did have a very uniform and marked theme: gimmicks. Each item justified its existence with one small, well-defined, and generally spurious reason. One shirt could be balled up in a pocket, then worn without being any less attractive than if it had been ironed. One kitchen utensil used a complicated process to turn out perfect little cubes of garlic—and nothing else (of course, they're not crushed, so the resulting dish is not as flavorful).
Now, Charles de Konick says that living things are organic, meaning "having tools." He delights in how a tool provided by nature, such as a hand, was perfectly adapted to innumerable tasks, while a supposedly multi-function man-made tool, such as a Leatherman, did anything poorly. I think of this with perverse pleasure when buying things (especially kitchen utensils) that can be used for as many different tasks as possible.* This combines with love for Lady Poverty to make a wooden spoon (3 for a dollar at Target) a thing a beauty and a joy forever.
QVC is clearly a fan of de Konick but not of Lady Poverty.
*Major exception to the rule: coffee makers.
