Two days ago, someone pulled a dirty trick. The sidewalk looked about the same, but as soon as my paw touched it, I knew something was wrong. It was slippery, and I wasn’t sure if it was cold or hot—all I know is that I felt safer on the welcome mat. My person said it was just fine, but that it would be better to walk on the grass. She rushed away without thinking it through and before I could answer! But I had to follow her to make sure she didn’t get in trouble. Everything was very strange, and I don’t think she really understood. She never understands—that’s why I have to be so vigilant. It’s good that I was there, too, because the grass wasn’t there any more. Instead, there were sharp, crunchy little things—maybe they were strips of paper. It smelled a little bit like grass, but it also smelled like those white cubes my person puts in my water in the summer. Anyhow, my person insisted on walking all over the yard, so I decided to make the best of it. I took care of some pressing business, and then checked up on the local animal gossip (I have to make sure that the squirrels and birds aren’t getting into trouble.) But my mother always said that if I do my duty, I’ll never go unrewarded. (I’m lucky I had such a good mother! Otherwise, I’d never have known my duty towards my person and small animals.) And it’s true! Each of my good deeds was rewarded with A Possibly Tasty Something lying in the ice/grass. I’m not sure what they were, but I snaffled them up as quick as I could.
My person and I disagree about Possibly Tasty Somethings. She says that I should look at them carefully before eating them. But I just don’t feel comfortable seeing the world that way. I have to throw myself all the way into life. I can’t stop and sniff around it first. And if the Possibly Tasty Something turns out to be not-good for me, I can always throw it up in my bed. In fact, I like this part best. At night my person stays in the same place for so long that I get worried and sad. If An Actually Not Tasty Something escapes in the bed, she jumps up and gets really excited, and then I get happy, too. I love it when we can be happy together.
Sam (as dictated to Flannery)
