Saturday, December 13, 2008

Touching on Dachshunds

So you've heard the one about the irresistible force meeting an immovable object.

Now to a dachshund I am an irresistible force: if I want to pick it up, I will pick it up. The dog may try to make it harder for me to pick it up by hiding under beds, etc., but in the end the human will win and the dog will be bathed. And similarly with being an immovable object. A dachshund could try to make me move myself by sitting in the center of the room and staring fixedly first at me, then at its food dish, but if I were asleep there is nothing it could do to move me: to it I am an immovable object. So for something to be absolutely an irresistible force it must be stronger/larger than anything else and similarly for an immovable object (the first in an active, the second in a passive way). The whole point of an absolutely irresistible force is that if one exists an absolutely immovable object can't (and vice versa) unless they were the same being in which case there would be no conflict. [Pause here to reflect on Dr. Dolittle's Push-Me-Pull-Me.] So really the whole question was silly but in a pretentious annoying silly way not a fun one, so we should just return to the part of the discussion which was enjoyable, which is how nice it is to have dogs around and why I don't have them now and why in the Harry Potter movie I just saw absolutely NONE of the protagonists took advantage of being around a gorgeous Neapolitan Mastiff, not even patting it on the head. I mean really, if they're going to waste riches in that way they really shouldn't be allowed out of Gryffindor dormitory.

3 comments:

Mrs. Bear said...

That was thoroughly enjoyable.

Also, in the natural mama circuit "AIO" stands for "all-in-one" cloth diapers, which, being entirely different than "actual immovable object," made for an interesting addition to the reading experience. :-D

Flannery said...

Oh dear--I did massive restructuring to the center part of the blog (the part dealing with the stupid conundrum) so AIO was removed. I'm sure that all-in-one cloth diapers are far more beneficial to the human race than actual immovable objects.

Mrs. Bear said...

Your public awaits! :-D